Celebrating Prognancy

No, that's not a typo in the title. We really are celebrating prognancy. Never heard of it? That's because it's something that me and hubby made up this morning.

This morning I decided, "Heck, I know I'm only 9 days post ovulation, but I've got 20 pregnancy tests in my stock, so why not test?" Peed in a cup. Dipped the test in. Laid it on the counter. Checked the time to make sure I checked back within 10 minutes. I checked back in 8 minutes. There was a very light 2nd line.

Now, back in January I had a test with an evap line. I had thrown away a negative test, only to fish it out several hours later, and there was a 2nd line. I got my hopes up thinking maybe it was a positive, but it wasn't. Just an evil evap. We all know you aren't supposed to read those tests past the time limit, but I think we all do it.

Last month I had what I THINK was a light line that was so light some people couldn't see it. But let's face it, not everyone has as good of eyesight as I do, right? I was so unsure that I decided to wait until the next day and tested again. It was as negative as you can get. Then the next day my temperature dropped, and you know who came to visit. Not Voldemort, silly! Good ol' aunt flow!

So when I saw the second line this morning, I just sat it back down on the counter and thought, "Hmm, that's funny that there is a second line. It must be wrong."

See the little pink line?!?

When husband got home from his shift, I wanted to get his second opinion. He looked at the test and said, "Isn't the second line supposed to be as dark or darker than the control line?' Silly husband. You are thinking of OPKs! I quickly switched him over into pregnancy test land where a second line of any darkness is a positive. His final response was, "don't get your hopes up, it might not be." He also told me to view this as progress, not pregnancy.

Tomorrow we had a doctors appointment that required us to be within quick driving distance to the fertility clinic. So tonight we have a hotel room booked just a mile from the clinic. We decided to cancel the appointment until further notice (if I'm not actually pregnant we will reschedule). But we still have a non-refundable hotel reservation our hands. Husband decided we should celebrate progress tonight. We will still be using the hotel and going out to eat tonight. Hence, we are celebrating prognancy tonight!

And instead of going to the fertility clinic tomorrow, I set up an appointment to get blood pregnancy test. I felt crazy setting up the appointment. Like, I shouldn't be doing it since it will just be negative. Surely. And when she went ahead and scheduled an ultrasound in November, I was like, "Oh great, now I'm just going to have to cancel that in the next couple of days when I figure out that I am not pregnant after all."

I feel like if I hadn't gone through infertility, I wouldn't be doubting this pregnancy test. I would simply set up an ultrasound at 8 weeks, figure out a cute way to announce our pregnancy to husband, and that would be the end of it.

Infertility has blown apart my expectations. I expected to get pregnant quickly. I expected it would be super easy. I expected I would just "know" I was pregnant. I expected that when I got a positive pregnancy test, it would be this huge, "OMG, I'M FREAKIN' PREGNANT!". I didn't expect that I would just look at the test and shrug, assuming it was a joke from the universe. I didn't expect that my 'big announcement" to my husband would be me meeting him at the door with the pee stick in hand and asking him to give me his opinion. I didn't expect that my husband would tell me not to get my hopes hope, that maybe this is not a positive.

Lastly, I definitely didn't expect to be celebrating prognancy instead of pregnancy. But I feel like any celebrating at this point is good. I figure that tomorrow night we will either be celebrating again, or I will be in bed crying. It all depends on that blood test tomorrow!